Tuesday, 16 September 2014

My Kiddie Wedding and Kiddie Divorce

Sept 16th: "Most people don't know this but..."

So....I found this one pretty hard because I can't really think of anything of any significance/interest I haven't already shared with most people I know. Well, that is, of the things I am prepared to share.  I'm drawing a complete and utter blank here. So I asked my friends and one suggested I share a story from my childhood, so, here goes:

Most people don't know this but...when I was 11 years old (in Year 6) I had a "kiddie wedding" to my then "boyfriend". 
I would like to point out that this was not my idea, nor the idea of the boy in question. No, this was some kind of strange project orchestrated by my then circle of friends and one girl in particular who led the whole enterprise.

You see, I had made the mistake of being the first in our group to get a "boyfriend" and that only happened in the first place because of my friends practically forcing the poor lad to ask me out and then practically forcing me to say yes. But because I was the first, mine was the "relationship" which held the most novelty factor and novelty factor to my 11 year old friends meant: "They've been dating for a week. Get them to have an embarrassing kiddie wedding"...I may be paraphrasing there but you get the gist.

So, it was only a couple of days before the planned day of the wedding and my "boyfriend" and I had just been informed of it's impending arrival. I remember being told by friend to everyone to bring in lots of jewelry like badges and rings for me to wear and that her and my "boyfriend" were going to sort out the "wedding ring". 

Then the day rolled round.

Lunch time. My friends help me pin a number of random pins, badges and brooches onto my school jumper, I go out of the Year 6 corridor door into a space of empty playground hidden from view of most of the school. The "boyfriend" stands there, looking as geeky and as nervous as he usually looks, but, pleasingly, looking happy at my arrival. My friend stands in front of him, ready to perform the ceremony. My bridesmaids and I walk over (they're also suitably adorned). When I reach the "boyfriend" the friend acting as registrar speaks. Says some words I don't recall. Then my "boyfriend" produces a ring. He puts on my finger. There's debate over which is the correct ring finger to wear it on. The "registrar" declares us "Kiddie Married" and so we are.

Jump forward a month of so.

Year 6 residential trip. By this point I have decided I no longer wish to go out with the then "boyfriend" and that I actually fancy another boy in my year. This leads to me being far too wimpy to break up with the "boyfriend" and instead making the awful mistake of allowing two of my friends (involved in the original plot to get us together in the first place and then in out kiddie wedding) to break up with him for me - Oh the shame, 11 year old me - and they declare than we have now had a "kiddie divorce".

So...that is the story of how I had a "kiddie marriage" with my first "boyfriend" which lasted all of a month. I did later ask the boy I fancied at the residential out and we "dated" for a few months before he began to annoy me and I ignored him until he got the hint......Don't judge year 7 Rachel....I judge her enough for the both of us....And even if you do judge me, don't judge me too harshly as the ex-"boyfriend" number two turned out to be a bit of a hardcore right-winger in the forthcoming years, with some pretty unsavoury views...."boyfriend" number one was a lovely boy who I actually realised I still fancied even when I was with "boyfriend" number two...but he moved to France half way through Year 7 so....love dilemma solved....

[ Also, Most people don't know this but Sarah is freaking awesome ;) ]